The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge. To sailors, an albatross represented good luck to sailors, but in this story, the Mariner killed it. When things went wrong, the sailors on the ship hung the albatross around the Mariner’s neck.
Ah ! well a-day ! what evil looks
Had I from old and young !
Instead of the cross, the Albatross
About my neck was hung.
The phrase “an albatross around my neck” refers to some burden or curse someone feels they have. It could mean what is holding you back – whether in reality or in your mind.
Applying this to BJJ today I realized that there are lots of psychological things that can hold us back, and it got me thinking – what is the albatross around my neck that keeps me from realizing my full potential?
My break. I realized today that this is twice in one week that I blamed my 8 month break on why I didn’t know something that I should have known. I use it as my excuse. When I started, I didn’t let my terrible shape hold me back – I was just excited to get out on the mats. Every thing I could do was a success. If I couldn’t do something because I was too fat – I tried, failed, and shrugged it off and knew why, but I kept trying.
Is my break from jiu jitsu a real or imagined reason my progression is being held up? Hard to say, but in any case, it IS holding me back in my jiu jitsu. It’s my excuse I can fall back on for why I can’t execute an omoplata. It’s what I can point at and say – hey – not really my fault. No longer. If I can’t do a damn omoplata, that’s on ME. I can’t do it because I didn’t learn it well enough and need to drill it. If I find a hole in my knowledge, I need to exploit that and learn it well rather than blame something.
Great take on the Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Zach Urtes http://zachurtes.blogspot.kr/2010/09/general-illustrations.html
How about you? What is holding you back? What are you blaming as your reason for not improving? Is it your physicality? Is it your flexibility? Everyone in the gym is just so much more naturally gifted than you? I’m not asking what your limitations are – we all have them, but I’m asking what, if anything, you are blaming on holding you back.
Oh how strange, I thought I was reading a blog post, not sitting in a threapy session.
This is a wonderful post Julia. I read it last night and again this morning.
Stupid fear holds me back. It is stupid fear. I face that buzzing fly when I do my push-ups, roll, work on pull-ups….anything that poses a challenge for me. There is a voice that says, “what if it’s hard today? what is I lose this match? will I look lame? what if I can’t do as well as xyz…? do as many reps as xyz…?”
I identified this creature when I was preparing for swat tryouts and faced grueling workouts on a regular basis. I had to get past this, and I did! But the voice still sits there, quieter now; but still there.
I need to jump to work right now, so more later.
Dag
Ooh – that’s a tough one. I think my tiny voice says “what if they don’t take me seriously.” 🙁
Not being able to breathe. Breathing is my albatross. My weak lungs, my asthma, my weak stamina is my albatross.
I remember having a bit of a panic the first time I was under someone and their wet t-shirt was suffocating me. I would stop, close my eyes and concentrate on breathing in and out and say to myself “Self, you can breathe – you’re okay.” That’s a tough one.
[…] yourself to others. When I compare myself to others, this is how I start feeling, and it sucks. I’m NOT very athletic, I’m 36, inflexible, I have a difficult time making things stick. Honestly, I’m not as bad as I think I am – I DO get some submissions, but when […]