I once had an accidentally dirty conversation about BJJ. I was completely unaware of this. My friend Steve and I were discussing flow charts and BJJ and I thought nothing of it until I heard our coworker say “Should I leave the room?” We had apparently made him feel uncomfortable with our talk about what to do when you have full mount. πŸ˜€

My partner has me in full mount here.

My partner has me in full mount here

After a talk with Georgette last night at 3:30 am that got fairly silly (and don’t most talks at 3:30 am get silly?), I decided I needed to make a blog posting about accidental BJJ dirty talk. Okay, perhaps “needed” is a bit strong. In trying to be like Slidey, I searched for “BJJ dirty talk,” but my google-fu failed me, so I’m guessing it’s peppered in various threads here and there. Mostly what I came up with were threads about dirty fighting in BJJ. Well, except for this post that I started over on Jiu Jitsu Forums.

So, talk dirty to me! Here are the rules.

1. It must be appropriate BJJ lingo ONLY. You may not add to it to make it sound dirtier. You must be able to say it to other BJJ people and it be completely natural sounding. In other words, you could say it to the opposite gender during your BJJ class and they wouldn’t feel offended or creeped out.

2. It must SOUND dirty to non-BJJ people. Even though BJJ people know north-south LOOKS dirty, if you SAID “Will you show me pointers on north-south”, non-BJJ people will have no clue what you’re talking about, so that would NOT count.

This is North-South position

I’ll start:

I like to get on top as quickly as possible.
Yesterday I had my partner in full mount.
When you’re mounted, what do you like to do?

[updated to add] You’ve gotten TIGHT! (Said to me by two of my teammates)

Aaaaand GO! πŸ˜‰