And now back to your regularly scheduled posts. This last week I got sick YET again. Plus, it’s a holiday in Korea, so no BJJ this week. Sigh.
Last week we announced we were having belt testings on Feb 8. My instructor asked me how long I’d been training. I let him know that I will never be upset that I’m not “progressing” based on a timeline. My honest feelings are that none of this comes easy to me.
This took me 4 times (or more!) longer to climb this wall than anyone in our group.
I’ve never been an athletic person. I’ve always been stocky, heavy, easily winded, not so flexible, etc. I’m not so bodily aware and I’m clumsy. Sincerely–my partners will sometimes be practicing a move with me and I’ll just fall over. Dear Santa, please give me a base for Christmas! 🙂
In other words, I actively struggle. Nothing in BJJ will be given to me–I will earn every stripe with blood, sweat and tears. And I’m okay with that. I didn’t come in with dreams of earning a gold in the mundials. The fact that I’m trucking my way over to the gym 3-6 times per week is the reason why I’m doing it, not the number of stripes on my belt or even the color of my belt.
Me celebrating! I made it up this ledge and took time to dance! 🙂
BJJ is nothing like TKD. When I was in TKD I almost earned a black belt. 0_O Seriously? To progress, I had to memorize moves, forms, and break pieces of wood. In many ways I feel that in TKD the belts indicate how much time you’ve put into it rather than true skill level. So I’d put in my time, but didn’t necessarily have the skill I would have equated with an upper belt.
So my question to you: how easy is BJJ for you? Is it a constant struggle for you? Do certain things come easy for you? Am I just like everyone else? If BJJ is a mountain, how easy is your climb? Because I feel like I have to earn every single fingerhold and am recording progress by millimeters. But I’m enjoying the climb and I take time to dance when I get to the next ledge!
Hi Ju :),
i still owe you the audio, but i will record it! trust me!
I’m taekwondo blackbelt, practicing parkour for 7 years now, have trained muay thai, judo, gymnastics, rugby, indoor climbing, and many other things. And everybody who ask me about BJJ, i will always say the same thing: Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu is the hardest sport i ever been.
even been fit when started bjj, and many people saying there that i was too flexible, too strong, and everything that could be good for bjj, i got beaten during one year, every single training i went i left thinking “man, will i learn it someday?”, so i have this with me, in BJJ you take at least one year to start playing it.
About the belt, sometimes getting a belt may not represent your skill, but represents how hard you give yourself on that, even not knowing how good you are, but reading everything here, i know how compromised you are with this art, and how hard you give yourself into it, i’d give you a bluebelt.
For me the belt doesn’t represent skill, but will power, perseverance, and dedication.
Osu!
I’m glad you’re not my teacher, then! hahahaha I don’t deserve a blue belt! 🙂
Still–you have SOME natural ability, so if they tell you to move a certain way, you don’t have inflexible hips getting in your way. You are able to draw upon those skills. My skills are cross stitching, interpersonal relationships, and English. 😀
i don’t believe in natural ability, talent or such things, if you work hard, maybe take few days, or several years, it will come. i’ve learned to believe that hard words means more than results itself, cause at the end, quick learners quits quickly too.
(it’s hard to express what i mean with my language boundaries) 🙁
If BJJ were easy, everyone would be doing it. I think the worse you are at it initially, the better you become because you worked hard for every incremental improvement you had. I was reading Andre Galvao’s book and he said that he wasn’t very good when he started either. Just worked harder than everyone else.
Sweet! I’m like everyone else! 🙂
Julia,
Love your blog. I’m a blue belt and I have been a jiu-jiteiro for 3 years. My struggle with BJJ is the same as yours. I have never been nor am I now athletic. I have no skill whatsoever other than playing the drums and that skill doesn’t help at all when it comes to BJJ.
My BJJ mountain is Olympian-sized. Steep to near vertical, rough and full of crags like a volcano. Occasionally the volcano erupts and knocks me back down all the way to the bottom.
I have no guard, my mount escapes don’t work and I have practically no offense. A lot of guys at my gym like working with me because I’m like a grappling dummy they can work their techniques on. It’s so bad that I struggle tapping some white belts.
At first the frustrations and disappointments would send me into an infinite spiral of madness, but one day I changed my point of view. I realized that this isn’t a sprint; it’s a marathon and getting a black belt isn’t a goal. It’s not like I’m going to stop training them minute I get a black belt.
I no longer focus on the submission. I just focus on doing whatever I’m doing correctly. So when I spar I just focus on my defense knowing that eventually the submissions will appear. I think that mind frame has helped me stick with BJJ. I enjoy it a lot more and I’ve found that it’s improved the quality of my training.
Thank you so much for your comment! I should have written this: How steep is YOUR BJJ mountain! 😀
Sometimes I feel like I’m going up the fairy tale glass mountain! hahaha
You are right–it’s not at all a race. I keep my mind focused on why I am there in the first place–because it’s HEALTHY! It beats sitting on my ass watching marathon amounts of television! So regardless of how well I do or not, I’m winning the health game with myself!
Oh Julia, you’ve obviously been in my head! I really needed this post to remind me I’m not the only one struggling and taking micro baby steps with my BJJ. I am clumsy and not flexible and not athletic either (but there is something about BJJ that just absolutely captured my heart and soul, and with enough training I will become flexible and a little athletic, but I doubt the clumsiness will ever go away). I train about 4-5 times a week, but my progress is so slow I sometimes can’t see it. Yesterday was especially difficult and I felt I couldn’t perform the most basic techniques properly (couldn’t get proper grips, couldn’t break anyone’s guard, didn’t posture correctly, and the list goes on and on and on). Went home feeling very defeated. I love BJJ and I will continue to train, but I know that it will most likely take me twice as long as most of the guys to learn the most basic techniques (and that’s OK). My BJJ journey is my own unique experience and my belt is just there to help hold up my pants (but just once it would be nice to pull off some amazing technique properly or actually submit someone — a girl’s gotta have dreams)!!
I think that’s one thing invaluable about the blogging community–that you can read about someone going through the EXACT same thing you’re struggling with. That you can feel NOT alone.
We’re here to help keep you from just getting off the mountain! 🙂
I have a dream of a black belt. I imagine the stories I will tell about “Oh, I remember when I was a white belt” and how inspiring I will be for all the fat, non-athletic women out there. For now I’m just trying to inspire others to KEEP CLIMBING! IF I CAN HAUL MY FAT ASS ONTO THIS MOUNTAIN, YOU CAN TOO! 😀
Never in a million years would I have ever thought that I would ever be training as hard as I do or at all for that matter, in BJJ. I attended a Relson Gracie seminar last year. My husband participated and I was just there to watch and see what the fuss is about. That is the moment my turning point. I was hooked on the how it didn’t matter your size or strength to be able to make the techniques flow. Anyone can do it. There were kids who were 4 years old doing it and there was a 70 something man at NAGA doing his thing. I’ve trained with men and women who could lock their guard at all, but eventually could with practice. Hell, I had a hard time with it myself! Relson didn’t lie when he said it takes 10,000 times repeating a move to be an expert. LOL.
I used to get frustrated all the time that my posture was constantly broken, I was being swept like nothing and my balance and coordination was right around the level of a newborn giraffe. SO I TOTALLY FEEL YA! I did the same thing and just kept practicing. I still go 6 days a week to make my improvenments. Sometimes it works out, sometimes not..(Reminds me of BJJ Grrl in her post about being technical)
At first it was quite a blow to my self esteem to be surrounded by all these upper belts (and more experienced white belts) and not be able to last very long during a roll. I got tapped out quickly and often. Took awhile for my mind to get the AH HA moment and see the puzzle come together..hard to see the entire picture when you only get a few pieces, but once you get to chain a couple together..WOO HOO! I had to look at it differently. I had to be more technical to get things to work. I had to be focused on smaller details to get the big picture. SO one small step at a time will still carry us the same distance. I’d much rather take my time and do it properly. I don’t take it as personal as I used to if I couldn’t get the upper hand. I’m just glad I can roll. I’m not worried as much about “can i get the tap.” I find that if I’m doing this more relaxed and having fun then I can see my progress better. Sometimes we are our own worst critics… we don’t see the progress like our constant partners do..
I never thought I was very good, but when they entered me in my first tourney, I did come away with the gold. I was scared to death, nervous and about to puke. I lost my next tourney a few months later…you win some, you lose some..learn something always..
Congrats on your gold! I got a gold medal, too, though that’s because I was the only one in my weight class. eep.
I love aha moments, when you realize you’re learning some structure where you can plug in other things, or you start to see openings where before you didn’t. That’s a good feeling!
my balance and coordination was right around the level of a newborn giraffe. OH MAN I LOVE THIS!
Thank you for adding your voice!
Even if you are athletic and such, there is not much about BJJ movements that is terribly natural. If anything, having developed acute body awareness (perhaps through yoga or dancing) would be helpful, I think. But BJJ is not easy. It’s hard as heck, which is what makes it so awesome. I agree with bjjJunkie – we are often our own worst critic. Think about your first class – you’ve improved tons since then, even if it feels like it’s taken a long time! I also agree with abrando; no matter who you are, it takes a lot of hard work and dedication. (Consider the oft-cited Malcom Gladwell thing where it takes “10,000 hours” to be an expert.)
I find that when I feel frustrated is when I feel like I technically know what I should be doing at a certain time. Or even if I’m doing it, I’m doing it rather poorly despite that knowledge. But things are just easier said than done! Practice, practice, practice! =)
I have realized what was missing from this post and I will be writing a new post about it. I think it will be much more positive. You all have given me good things to think about!
I totally agree–it’s super important to stand on that ledge and dance and twirl your hair around. I am all for celebrating small victories, which for me are even things like recognizing: oh crap–I’m sticking out my arm too far, or recognizing what I should be doing.
I had this discussion with one of my friend and girlfriend a few weeks ago. About how I’ve done all these sports, wrestled in high school and in college. Judo brown belt. Tradition Japanese JJ brown belt. And I still find BJJ hard as hell. I struggle everyday on the mats, doing warm ups, understanding the moves. etc. It’s not coming easy with every passing moment. In the beginning the ego dies really quick from all the tapping out. I’ve found that the more I tap out the more I learn not to make the same mistake again. I gotten so use to tapping out especially training at Marcelo’s , that it’s almost a reflex sometimes. I heard when you get higher there’s always a new challenge. You’re always learning. So I keep trying my best and log in that mat time. Hopefully in a decade or so I may be a blackbelt worth writing about.
One thing I love about BJJ is that you constantly hear the phrase “check your ego at the door.” I haven’t heard that with any other sport. It’s one thing I love about this sport.
I think for me, I have to make the same mistake again and again and again before I think “oh, maybe I shouldn’t do that.” heh But more mat time = getting all those mistakes in more quickly = learning at a faster pace.
I’ll second Jaime’s comments and description. It’s a very difficult journey. Brutally so. I’ve been athletic my whole life– ran, did shot put and low hurdles in track, racquetball, weightlifting, field hockey, soccer, horseback riding and showing, kajukenbo, and was a salsa dance instructor. I have never struggled with an activity for this long, this seriously, this frustratingly, in my life. Why do I keep beating my head against the wall? I guess because it feels great when I quit 😉 lol… when I make an infinitesimal breakthrough….
Hahahaha The more I get to know you the more I love you! 🙂
I wish I could pinpoint what is so frakking addictive about BJJ!
I realize how I should have worded this post, so look forward to another, more positive post coming up!
“I’ve never been an athletic person. I’ve always been stocky, heavy, easily winded, not so flexible, etc.”
This right here is why I love your blog…this is such a difficult journey and you are straight up about how off and out of place a person who isn’t athletically gifted can feel. I know because I’m right there with you…this is SO me too. Sometimes it makes me sad that I have physical limitations, but it also makes me proud.
🙂 Thank you! My whole life I’ve been “brutally honest” or “blunt,” but then later came to realize (this quote came from a friend): “Bluntness is a great thing in a wooden club, but wooden clubs make lousy methods of communication for the topics you wish to address.”
However, being blunt about MYSELF can be a great way to open up to others. 🙂 I’m glad you have been able to connect with what I’ve written. It encourages me to do more of the same. Also, I’m glad to know I’m not alone in my limitations 😀
BJJ never seemed overwhelming to me, but progress was a slow grind for a very long time. Several years. I’m sure I hit a few walls, but all my time on the mats has run together in my memory. It doesn’t matter anymore. Sometimes I get stalled, sometimes I have progress spurts. I keep practicing and studying jiu jitsu. The more effort I give, the faster I improve, all in all. Now that I have a good foundation, I don’t get too frustrated because I know I can think about what is giving me difficulty, figure out what I did wrong, and map a path to fixing it.
There was a mentally handicapped man who started at my last club last year. No one born with normal faculties is anywhere near as uncoordinated and unathletic as this man was. He could not process the most basic moves after seeing them repeatedly and had the flexibility and respiratory capacity of a tree stump. No one wanted to work with him because it was really difficult for him to 1. understand moves and 2. make his body do them. He was strong and overweight, so all he managed to do was stall and shove when he rolled. But he came to class several times a week. Everyone worked with him because we had to and could we really give a cold shoulder to someone who wanted to learn bjj that much? When I left, six months after he joined, he had progressed to the level of spastic noob, which I thought was a huge amount of progress. Given his persistence, in time, I think BJJ will be natural even to him. Abrandao is right. Hard work is more important than any kind of talent.
Besides, being a sort of a nerd, I say this to anyone who says they (or their kid) is smart, but “just doesn’t get math.” It also applies to bjj. You’re great at English, right? It’s one of your stated skills. How old were you when you started to learn English? How often do you practice it? How much are you around it? If you were immersed in brazilian jiu jitsu (or math, or anything else) as early and as often as you were in English, how good would you be at it now?
Ooooh I love what you wrote. You connected on a few key points.
First, I’m terribly excited that SOMEONE has had an easier time with BJJ than I have–not everyone SHOULD struggle this hard. 😀
Second, I’m terribly excited that I am not the worst person in the history of BJJ (kidding kidding).
Third, I absolutely agree with you about comparing it to a language or a new subject. I do that all the time. I think to myself: if someone had been learning English for 7 months, realistically, how good would they be? I look at my Korean–I’ve been in this country for nearly a year and I only know around 60 or 70 words. I don’t know that I can make a sentence with three words in it. Sincerely. So I am definitely not too hard on myself. I’m glad someone else came up with that exact scenario that I’ve drawn upon! 🙂
Thank you for adding such a great comment!
Lovely post Julia!
I think many people make it so much harder on themselves by having unrealistic expectations and measuring themselves against the super athletes that learn everything in 2 seconds and apply it in live rolling with no hesitation. If you know your limitations and adjust your game, it is fun and not stressful.
I’ve been told many times that with my long legs I should be shooting triangles. The fact is I’m not going to do something I don’t like and that someone else pressures me into. I love top game, I would much rather sit on you and be happy than go home whining why my triangles don’t work.
Please, please, please keep up with the positive attitude. Don’t turn into a whiny blogger.
xxx
Triin
Oh dear god. Shoot me in the head if all I do here is whine. Lol–a guy over on Jiu Jitsu Forums was asking “Should I have my blue belt by now?” I linked pictures of pants belts that were blue and said “Is this the one you ordered? Because if you ordered it more than 10 days ago you should DEFINITELY have it by now!”
I will be sure to keep all my whining on Jiu Jitsu Forums and off my blog! 🙂
LOL! That’s so funny, Julia!
Keep up the good writing, I wish I had the talent…
lol…you do no more complaining than anybody else does. It’s likely that “whine” posts tend to get more comment attention.
True, for both sympathy and “omg stop being a whiny _____!”
Great post!
I’ve been on my jiu jitsu journey for eight years now, and I can honestly say that it’s the most difficult thing I’ve done in my life because I didn’t start out with great coordination, lacked a decent mat sense/base, and I’m always the smallest person on the mat at less than 120 pounds.
I was a white belt for a year, and a blue belt for about five years before getting promoted to purple. And when I did get my purple belt, I immediately felt like the world’s worst purple belt (though I don’t anymore).
Consequently, many of the people I started with have progressed farther in both their BJJ skill and their rank. And I’m okay with that. Many more people who were white belts with me progressed faster and dropped out as a blue belt.
The great thing about BJJ, is that there’s always more to learn regardless of how far you’ve come.
Your response makes me happy I wrote this post. Thank you for sharing your journey with us! It reminds me a little of the tortoise and the hare. I know I’d much rather be slow and steady than to go quickly and burn out.
I imagine that when I do have any color on my waist that I’ll be thinking “I’m the worst ____ belt” while right now I have the protection of a no-stripe white belt to be reason I’m not good! 😀
It’s like learning a language–there are things that you can learn even if you’ve been doing it for 15 years!
I don’t really have any athletic skills that translated over to BJJ…. =/
For a female I am extremely inflexible, unfit, not strong, no stamina, etc… hahaha when I was in school, my sports club was actually the ‘chess club’. I hated sports and wasn’t any good in any of them so I know exactly how you feel.
I guess the only ‘skill’ I have is being tenacious? When I put my mind to something, I put in 110% and I don’t give up!
Yeah! 🙂
[…] of standardization. But it doesn’t stop there. One of my Brazilian readers, Abrandao, wrote this comment to me: For me the belt doesn’t represent skill, but will power, perseverance, and […]
[…] especially because everything has felt like such a physical challenge. I came into all this with a black belt in tv watching and a couch shaped butt. Not the couch-butt on the left, but the one on the right. But. […]
hey my mountain in bjj is practically past steep i have trained for 14 years in taekwondo, muay thai and trained in wrestling and bjj for round about a year now but mainly bjj. in my class i weight 11st 2 andthe next lightest is around 14st and this is making it hard for me as i try and know alotnof technique but trying to put it into practice is near on impossible :/ if i can get any top position im fine and can gain position and submit but if im on bottom the sheer weight and strength of the guys just makes it impossible to move within the round i try and scoot and bridge but absolutely nothing works i just end up burnt out and still nowhere which i find frustrating but i continue to persevere its just waiting for something to click to help my game
You may find Emily Kwok’s video about how to defeat the heavier, stronger opponent using BJJ. One tip she had for bridging while the partner has side: bring your knees all the way up to their body so that your feet are off the mat. Then bring your feet down and come up hard, and repeat this several times.
Here’s another one. Really – it’s a great dvd.
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iZjnbCun0A]