I have a confession to make: I’m not trying to improve in jiu jitsu right now. Not even a little bit. I’m going to class irregularly, and when I go, I’m simply happy to have gone. I know HOW to improve my jiu jitsu, I just don’t care right now, and that’s okay.

Imagine that everyone is the main character in a tv show about their life. Now, who is your English professor to you – is it a recurring character? a 1-minute side plot of a single episode? or is it a character you never even see, but who simply serves to create some struggles for the main character? “Oh man, my English Comp professor is rough – I have a 20 page paper due next week.”

In the tv show of the professor’s life, however, the focus shifts. The entire show is based around the classroom, the professor’s struggle to grade all the papers on time, to balance home and professional life, to teach this thing they are passionate about. A student who blows off a paper – are they a recurring character? a 1-minute side plot of a single episode? or a character you never see, but who serves to create struggles for the professor? “Oh man, this student came to my office complaining about their grade!”

It’s easy for us to forget that we are not The Most Important Thing to all other folks in our lives. Very honestly, how many people would credit you as a main character in Their TV Life show? It’s easy for me to forget that English Composition is not The Most Important Thing to everyone else because dang it, it’s all consuming to me!

When my students don’t show up to class, I remind myself that other things are more important to them, and that’s okay. I remind myself that their choices are about THEM and not about ME, and that’s okay. It’s useless to feel frustrated that other people have not made you as big a priority as you want to be – and quite frankly, it’s ego. Their choices, while okay, still have consequences.

I know exactly what to do to improve: go to class 3-5 times per week, take notes, drill, review. I’m just not in a place that I can do that. My choice to focus on work has a consequence of taking away my mental focus about jiu jitsu.Β That’s why it’s okay if right now I’m not improving in jiu jitsu. It’s okay if right now jiu jitsu is more social for me. It’s okay. Soon my life will change, and I’ll have the capacity to focus on improving in jiu jtisu.

Jiu Jiu’s Question:Β What is jiu jitsu right now in the tv-show of your life? A main storyline? The B storyline? Background? An Important Challenge for the main character? What’s going on in the primary storyline of your life right now?