About a month ago, there was a survey circulating called “Women in Gaming, 2016.” I am a gamer, and I passed it along to the gamer women. A friend of a friend remarked that she didn’t feel she was a gamer.
I think there is a strong parallel to any kind of hobby or sport that we do: is it an activity you do, or is it part of your identity? At what point do you decide or declare this? I remember feeling that way about jiu jitsu when I started, but I absolutely waited to claim it as part of my identity until I got my blue belt. It’s so common for folks to start out with all the enthusiasm and good intention, then die off quickly due to schedule or money or whatever. A gal dropped by the gym and stated she’d come to every single class. I brought a gi for her to borrow, but didn’t hold my breath. She never returned. I wasn’t surprised.
Other folks keep jiu jitsu as simply an activity that they do. For sure, an activity they enjoy, but it isn’t something they claim as part of their identity. Consider the following:
- Musician vs someone who plays music
- Chef vs someone who likes cooking
- Poet vs someone who enjoys writing poems
- Weight lifter vs someone who lifts
- Hiker vs someone who hikes
Some of the identity tags in my own life: jiu jitsuka, cross-stitcher, Trekkie, teacher, blogger, and gamer. Some things I enjoy as activities but do not identify with: cosplayer, weight lifter, drawing, and camping.
Jiu Jiu’s Question: is BJJ (or whatever activity you do) part of your identity or simply an activity you do? What is the difference to you? Please share your list of your identity vs activities you love!
What an interesting and thoughtful post! I immediately had a list of some things that I identify with and a list of some things that I simply do.
I identify as (in no particular order):
Reader (perhaps this should say “book lover”)
Kayaker (or water baby…the vessel isn’t of main importance these days)
Jiu-Jiteiro (or jiu jitsuka?)
Feminist (sometimes radical)
Tree Hugger (always radical)
Activities I do:
Sew
Sing
Cosplay
Dance
Exercise
Bike
Hike
Camp
Ski
Thanks! I love the question “Who are you” vs “What do you do”. It appears that, save for the water baby thing – ho boy I am NOT a water person, you and I are very similar in our “Who are you” categories! 🙂
I have actually experienced this type of conversation in the past. Someone called me an athlete and I told them that I wasn’t an athlete, that I just enjoy working out.
I would say I am a reader, baker, and athlete.
I personally see Jiu Jitsu as a subset of athlete since I don’t singly consider just one specific physical activity as the one that defines me… just different ways for me to express my athleticism.
Very cool. As I generally ONLY do jiu jitsu, for me, it is just a jiu jitsu thing, and not an athlete thing. That’s very cool that you realized that about yourself. What other athletic endeavors do you pursue?
My relationship with BJJ changed dramatically after I got my blue belt. I’ve heard/read a lot about the ‘blue belt blues’ so I think it’s something a lot of people experience.
I thought that as a blue belt BJJ had to part of my identity, that it wasn’t made me feel something of an imposter. Of course a blue belt has to include BJJ as part of their identity. I’m a blue belt, but BJJ isn’t part of my identity, therefore I don’t deserve this blue belt.
Welcome to Imposter-ville! I think all of us have visited there at some point, and many of us are long-term residents!
I didn’t connect belt to identity whatsoever. I definitely feel like blue belt is still a beginner belt (I’ve heard some folks say it’s like giving candy – it doesn’t really matter who has it). It’s not at all to put down blue belts (I’m living in Blue Belt Land, too!), but just to acknowledge that there is NOT a huge difference between white belts and blue belts. If you read through my blog, I interviewed a few black belts and asked them what the difference is between a very good white belt vs a sucky blue belt. The difference in answers was ASTOUNDING.
For some, it meant a skill progression. Others, it meant they simply responded WITH jiu jitsu (as opposed to responding with athleticism or strength) regardless of how successful it was. Another said it was someone they felt could run a class for beginners. I’ve also seen that for some, it’s attitude based – are they in it, are they dedicated, are they working hard. And others literally could just be “Hmmm they really need a push”. My guess is that my blue belt was based on the “Wow – she looks like she’s in it for the long haul!”
Purple is really more a skill level belt. That’s in my mind where the advanced actually begins. That’s where the higher expectations are.
I look at a blue belt now, and honestly my ONLY expectation is that they won’t spazz out on me, and they won’t just muscle me or lay on me – that we’ll actually get to USE jiu jitsu on one another.
I hope you stick with it!! Maybe your instructor wanted to give you an incentive to keep working?
Very nice article. I’m a jiu-jitsu man, I train up to 10 classes a week, and I compete often because I often feel the overwhelming desire to prove my abilities to myself. I once was a casual grappler, but I used jiu-jitsu as a coping mechanism for things in my life and now I’m hooked! As I get more and more time on the mat I feel the need to help others and one day teach jiu-jitsu. If something owns a big part of our life, it becomes our identity.
I think for me, one of the important defining elements is: if you stopped doing it, would you still consider it part of your identity? Even when I wasn’t training for stretches at a time, BJJ was still part of that identity.
I think there are other pieces to that puzzle, too. I hate cleaning, but I do it a lot. It’s absolutely not part of my identity. 🙂 I used to cook every day, but I never enjoyed it nor wanted to. I’m a military dependent, but “Army Wife” is absolutely not part of my identity. I see what you’re saying, but it still feels incomplete.
BJJ is definitely apart of my identity. I think I realized it after I was selected as employee of the month at the office I work at. I had to fill out a questionnaire that asked stuff like my favorite sport, favorite place to visit, my hero, etc. I filled it out and went back to read my answers and was surprised to see almost everything I wrote down had to do with Jiu Jitsu.
Hahaha – the addiction! It permeates our lives!
I’m a programmer, a gamer and an athlete.
These are things I’ve done consistently for years.
But playing guitar, drawing, and more recently practicing BJJ, these are just activities.
Cool blog, btw. I found it while browsing the Fenom site 🙂
Thanks for letting me know how you found me! I love Fenom. Note to self: time to get yet another gi! 🙂
What’s your preferred medium for games? I think mine in order are: board, rpg, console.
Definitely martial artist, though I do find myself wondering what other people think when I say that, since I don’t particularly look like a martial artist traditionally looks (older, shorter, fatter…). I’ve been considering a work move – work is also an important part of my identity – and realized how much jiujitsu matters when I spent so long researching jiujitsu schools near new potential employment. Also power lifting gyms, campsites and community bands.
Haha I told my husband when we first got engaged “I don’t care where I move as long as there is jiu jitsu there!” I didn’t know this, but he started secretly researching which army bases with army bands had nearby jiu jitsu academies. Apparently they all do! 🙂