Hello from Ukraine! Привет из Украини! I’m here on vacation and have much to report over the next week or two!
The first is my magic recipe for stress. Mix all these ingredients together and it will produce a fully stressed out Julia. Results are guaranteed!
Step one: lose her luggage. The bag that was filled with gifts for her Ukrainian friends–misplace it so that when she gets off the plane she has to wait in a huge line and hope hope hope that somehow it will be found.
Step two: make sure her bank card doesn’t work. It doesn’t matter that she’s financially planned for this trip–don’t let her access the available funds. Have all the atms in the city spit out the card saying there is an error, then have the bank in Seoul eventually say to her “I think something is physically wrong with your card. You should borrow money from someone.”
Step three: don’t give her any options to touch the funds in her bank account. Transfer money? You have to be in Korea. Sign up for Internet banking? You have to be in Korea. Anything else? You have to be in Korea.
Step four: make sure she doesn’t have the pin code for her other bank card. That’ll really screw things up for her!
Step five: deny her Western Union money transfer. Who cares that she has enough room on the credit card, make sure to tell her that your company has deemed it a high-risk transaction regardless of the bank physically removing the block.
All five steps completed within three days will result in a frantic, phone call to mommy, complete with hysterical tears and patheticness. Plus, she will be sure to call at an inconvenient hour, waking said mommy up at 5:30am. Then, you’ll be adding guilt to the stress formula! Good for you!
Thankfully my mom and I share the same credit card account and have two different cards. I hadn’t been able to access any of my money for the past three days and my mom really came through for me. She did a Western Union transaction and I had the money in my hot little hands within an hour. Also, my luggage had arrived the day before, so that was really great.
And, to top off the day, I went to a Krav Maga class and had the opportunity to punch and choke people. Pretty much the best day ever to do that. Apparently being aggressive really does work off stress! 🙂