There are so many posts for white belts about what not to do in class, advice on how to approach class, and even pages with several links about classroom do’s and don’ts; however, there’s not quite so much advice about white belt etiquette online. After an amusing thread over on jiujitsuforums.com, I wanted to give advice to white belts about how to act online so that I’m not just saying don’t be annoying, or as Wil Wheaton would say:
1. Don’t post about who you tapped out at your gym
A new white belt finally taps out someone and they post about it on the Internet, writing a thread entitled “Tapped out 3 guys at my gym.” It is met with negativity and the white belt is bewildered. Why?
The above makes it sound like “Omg I won at BJJ!” like tapping is the Most Important Thing. At the gym it shouldn’t be about winning or losing – it’s about learning. If you tap you learn. Besides, you have no idea how hard or light the person at your gym was actually going against you, especially if they’re upper belts. Post about tapping someone out in a competition. In competition, they’re giving their all.
Now, it’s different if you are posting about the entire evening and you post about each rolling session and include it as extra information, but when you go on a forum and your title is “Finally tapped out a blue belt” it feels douchey. Leading me to point two:
2. Don’t post that you (almost) tapped out your instructor
I guarantee your instructor was going at maybe 10% with you. You were not a challenge for them. It’s the equivalent of a chessmaster playing with a child. Unless you’re the Josh Waitzkin (who inspired the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer) of white belts, you didn’t almost do crap. They let you have it. Recognize that and don’t be “proud” of it and boast about it on the Internet.
Side note: Josh Waitzkin is a brown BLACK belt in BJJ studying under Marcelo Garcia
3. Don’t ask if it’s possible to get your X belt in a super short amount of time
This makes you sound like a belt chaser – someone who doesn’t really care about getting better, only about getting belts. It’s usually followed by a sad comment by the white-belt who just was over excited and wants to be the best X belt there is, but was “just wondering.” That’s why I’m cautioning you about it. This is what it sounds like: “Is it possible to get a blue belt in 1 month? What if I train every day for 8 hours a day???? What if I take steroids??? What if I stop sleeeeeping? BJJ IS MY LIFE!!!!!!”
I recognize that it is valid and reasonable to ask normal progression times, but when it is asked a CERTAIN WAY it tends to receive these types of responses. Asking people “How long does it normally take to get to X belt” does not usually incur negative feedback.
4. Don’t bitch that you’re not getting better
BJJ is HARD. It takes TIME. There is a reason that it takes 10+ years for most people to get their black belt. Sadly, I’ve seen white belts complain that they’re not seeing progress, even though they started a whole week ago. >_< It is annoying and unrealistic. Don’t cry about not getting better after 3 or 4 classes, or even 15 classes.
5. Don’t bitch that you haven’t gotten your blue belt yet
When you go on and on about how awesome you are and how you’re so much better than so-and-so who just got promoted to blue belt, it makes you sound bitter. It’s very possible that attitude might play a part in belt promotions, and if you act like this in person, it’s no wonder you didn’t get promoted. And similarly:
6. Don’t question someone else’s rank
This is EXTREMELY rude. By doing this you are not just questioning the person, but the instructor who awarded the rank. In the end it is the instructor whose name is on the line – whose reputation is on the line. You are a white belt. You are new. You don’t know who deserves what rank. Period.
7. Don’t badmouth your former school/instructor online
It’s one thing to have a bad experience and write about it in an objective way, but unfortunately there are too many people who badmouth old schools. It’s like badmouthing an ex online and naming names – uncouth and leaves a bad taste in everyone’s mouth.
8. Don’t use the phrase: “watering down the art”
This is usually used in conjunction with a) questioning someone else’s rank b) badmouthing a former instructor. Example: “Hi, I’m random white belt. I was wondering – is it normal for someone to get their blue belt in 6 months? I think my old instructor is handing out belts really fast. I love BJJ and am concerned about the watering down of the art.”
OMG YOU SOUND PRETENTIOUS! Ugh seriously.
The last one was maybe a just-me thing, but all the others hold true. BJJ is really exciting – and it’s so exciting that you’ll likely want to talk about it all the time, post about it online, and even start a blog about it! I started my blog as a newbie white belt, and some of the guiding principles I used may help you:
1. White belts are no experts in BJJ
I’m well versed in my field: training English teachers. Things I could comment on with expertise: teaching methodology, classroom management, and student-teacher interaction. There may be some overlap in your expertise, and feel free to comment on that, but watch out for sounding like an expert white belt.
2. Try not to complain
Talk about your limitations, just don’t whine about them. I have always tried to be realistic about my body and its capabilities. For example, when I started, I weighed 205 lbs. I was a large girl in class. Sometimes I would talk about how something felt embarrassing, or that I just couldn’t do something, or even that I cried in class. I tried not to complain, but rather to present myself as a human being with ups and downs.
My hope is that if you are a white belt reading this, you will take these suggestions to heart. Hopefully it will save you some potentially uncomfortable or confrontational interactions online. So I now ask the question:
What advice would you give white belts about online behavior?
Great post. Really enjoyed this one because you see it all the time at jjf.
hahahaha yeah – I think that thread had almost all of them
Cool post. I’m hoping i haven’t done any of that!
it seems its a small world – about a fortnight ago a training partner of mine handed me a book and said ‘Steiny, you’re about the only bloke i know that i reckon might actually get what this book is on about’ (He was of course saying so in a very joking manner). It was The Art of Learning: An Inner Journey to Optimal Performance from Josh. Still trying to figure out if my mate was right or not…:-P
Hahaha even if you have, it’s okay. I’m just hoping to help some white belts avoid having negative reactions by the upper belts. They either get really sad or really defensive about the reactions!
I’ve never read the book but it sounded interesting to me!
I read your list and thought, “Those are the things that all eager puppies do!”
I’d like to add to “White belts are no experts in BJJ.”
There are few real experts. Real experts are among the best in their field, with comprehensive knowledge based on years of experience. If you lack that experience, then you don’t have the comprehensive knowledge. If you don’t have the comprehensive knowledge, then you aren’t an expert.
Unless you are a prodigy, of course.
Expert may be a hyperbole, but I consider that if someone has a PhD they are an expert on that one area.
Perhaps highly knowledgeable is a better word. I am highly knowledgeable about teaching.
But – regardless – you caught my meaning
Speaking of bragging, I met Joshua Waitzkin last year at a tournament.
The jealousy – it burns!
Good list. Although I have to admit, bitchy drama threads by bitter white belts are often very entertaining, so I’d be sad to lose that soap opera. ;p
Hahahaha Slidey you are so wise.
The current thread is cracking me up so freaking hard.
Great post and very true. Although I haven’t read about stuff like that in the blogs I follow I have seen that in person in class and it is completely bizarre. I don’t know what those people are thinking; however, those people don’t usually last very long.
Haha yeah I hear you. I just love the puppy dog OMG BJJ IS THE BEST THING EVAR!!! And then the predictable negative response then the ensuing sadness or defensiveness.
I love gung ho. I just don’t like when online posting results in the person attracting unexpected negative reactions. I know I’m totally gung ho about bjj but avoided saying I was in it 4 life at the beginning. Until you put in your time you just don’t know.
I wanna thank you, i’m a brazilian jjf white belt, and read your blog give me things to think. So i’m grateful to you.
Let’s keep training, and keep posting o/
^^ thanks for the comments. It’s a little funny to watch, as slidey said, and common–so so common. Not a horrible thing but I think it sometimes surprises white belts when they get negative reactions. ^^
Great article. I’ve come across blog posts lately and thought the exact same thing.
My biggest pet peeve on forums/blogs or whatever is when people say a certain way of doing something is the only way. I’ve read about which side your rank is supposed to go on. They give some explanation about the winds and the direction of the sun and how Helio tied his belt, but in the end it doesn’t matter. If you do a Google Image search on Helio, you will find pictures of him with his rank on both sides. This is merely an example. The main point is that stating something as fact about the whole jiu-jitsu community is arrogant.
Hehehe yeah – for every truth there is an equal and opposite truth
I’ve heard people arrogantly say “I train – I don’t have time to post online” and yet there are black belts who train all the time and post on JJF. Same thing – some schools always line up by rank, others don’t. Some people say that BJJ is totally relaxed and informal, but there are absolutely formal, competitive schools.
That’s actually one of the reasons why I posted that article about the hidden rules in BJJ.
Sweeping comments are always dangerous to make. I hope people catch me on them
“My biggest pet peeve on forums/blogs or whatever is when people say a certain way of doing something is the only way.”
A student at the BJJ gym told me during my first week that my jacket was on wrong and that I was wearing it the way that the Japanese wear gis when they’re being buried. (needless to say, I thought it was a bizarre way to get the point across). I looked around and sure enough most jackets were left side over right (left on the outside, over the right side). So I switched it and try to be aware, most of the time. When I asked the head instructor about a week later he said “it really doesn’t matter, we’re very informal here.” So, though I try to keep the jacket correct, I don’t make it a huge priority
About a week ago, I had the jacket backwards again (during many, many 1-min sparring rounds) and the same guy said “Having your jacket like that makes you look like you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.” Grrrr! What rank do you think he is?
I’m willing to bet I can tap your cute ass on the mat but your in Korea
Oh Joe. Them’s some tough fightin’ words for a white belt. also, considering I herniated a disc in my back I would concur!
Nice post Julia!
I might add some things that bother me: Bragging how many injuries one has had and how little time he/she took off because he/she JUST COULD NOT MISS TRAINING. Also bragging about winning a local tournament with one other competitor in the bracket and thinking that they should be sponsored and someone should send them a free gi.
xxx
Triin
Oh, that reminds me, Triin – so last year when I entered that tournament, I was the only woman in my division, so I took home the gold. Can you please send me a free gi and sponsorship?
Yeah – no time off for injuries just seems stupid. Or going in when you’re sneezing and hacking because you just can’t miss class. Argh.
One of my instructors loves to make a point to people who brag about “almost” — he’ll start on his knees, slap their hand to start a round, and say immediately, “At this point, I’m ‘almost’ past your guard. I’m ‘almost’ submitting you.” The white belts laugh because they think he’s joking around, and then he submits them in 10s. Then he says, “‘Almost’ don’t mean sh*t.” (He hates advantages in tournaments for that same reason.) The smart ones start to figure it out after that.
Also on the “watering down of the art” — ugh. Just ugh. I think that one fits in perfectly with everything else you have up there, including “White Belts are not experts.” If you don’t even know what the “art” is yet, you certainly can’t judge whether it’s being “watered down.” There have been times when my instructor has promoted someone who I didn’t think was at the right level for their belt. (For example, some whites who still muscled everything or hadn’t come to that point of relaxation that usually occurs.) However, I trust my instructor and I do ultimately believe that he promotes people at the right time for that person. He has explained before that some people are promoted early because he thinks they need that kick in the pants to make the actual jump to that level; some are promoted right on time; and some are promoted late because he knows they’ll take that as motivation to work harder and get even better.
There’s one more typical white belt post that bugs me, and that the “What rank am I in BJJ?” The guy who has trained only nogi or MMA/UFC, possibly even only with his buddies in the garage, but he wants to know what belt he’s equivalent to in BJJ. White, darlin’. Everyone is a white belt their first day.
^_^ I think I love your instructor. Hahaha your story made me laugh.
Totally agree – in the long run, blue doesn’t matter. Some people are motivated by different things. I think that someone who has been really comfortable for a long time may definitely get that kick in the pants and get moving – to live up to their belt. Theoretically you’re blue the longest before black – and if so, everyone has time to grow into that belt.
I hadn’t heard the “what rank am I in BJJ” – that just seems like a gimme!
Those “what rank” threads show up a lot on Sherdog. The posters go through all the arguing, ranting, disbelief, name-calling, etc. when upper belts/intelligent posters point out the obvious to them. Sometimes they turn in to “How long until blue?” threads because the poster believes they have so much relevant experience. Sometimes there is crushing disappointment afterwards, but often there isn’t, and they just persist in their belief that they are “at least” purple belt level. Maybe blue belt, 4 stripes, if they’re trying to fake some humility.
These are such basic don’t's, they actually immediately betray how new and un-knowledgeable people who say/do them are…
Being myself a white belt without a single stripe (and rightfully so, as I’m very new), I’ve had doubts lately about how interesting or relevant my BJJ blog could be (all the other BJJ blogs I’ve seen are by people who are at least blue belts/2-3 years old in jiu jitsu). I candidly share my analyses there, while realizing I don’t have much experience, or haven’t rolled with that many different people, to form authoritative opinions about anything. Not that I particularly claim to do that, but simply keeping a public blog can give that impression. Perhaps I should make more of an effort to double-check stuff I write with my boyfriend, who started training in 1999…
Here’s the thing – having a white belt blog is awesome! The key is to make it about your experience. There’s something wonderful about writing about feelings and sorting through what happened. It’s just the weird arrogance that sometimes happens. That can absolutely happen at any level – and I certainly don’t want to seem like “yo, I have a blue belt, I’m an expert, yo.” But write from your own experience and knowledge base. Don’t write from an authoritative standpoint ABOUT BJJ – I don’t do that – or at least I certainly HOPE I don’t! I would hope someone would call me on my bad behavior as well!
But seriously – please don’t feel like you need to double check your writing with someone else – that’s ludicrous!
Not everyone started out blogging when we were blue belts/2-3 years old. I started a blog in the first few months of beginning BJJ (though then it was part of another training log, as I didn’t think BJJ would be that important to me… Ha!). Three and a half years later, I look back on some of those early posts and cringe & laugh at my eager, clueless self. But it’s all a part of the learning.
So on all those blue belt/2-3yo blogs, I’d recommend that you go back to their earliest posts and see what/how they wrote then. Comparing your blog as a white belt to that of a blue+’s is the same as comparing yourself to a blue+ on the mat.
Agreed – I wanted to chronicle my journey – and sometimes you go through pretentious times, other times you go through “wise” moments, you have ups and downs, and that’s the great and awful thing about sharing all of it. Your growth shows in your blog.
My blog is just over a year old.
I have had people call my tournament post whiny – and I to some degree yes, I was feeling bitter and very angry – I hadn’t expected to get an injury and I literally couldn’t move my arm afterward. It was such a roller coaster of emotions for me.
Agreed – it’s an important part of learning.
Awesome article Jiu jiu! <3 <3 <3 <3
BTW lady – I’m bringing my nogi stuff and I expect to do some BJJ drills with you!!!
Jiu jiu, although not related to the topic at hand. I just want to say that I am a big fan of your blog. I was introduced to it through Georgette Oden. I have a blog myself entitled the Happy Grappler at http://happygrappler.blogspot.com I would be honored if you would read it and if you like it, point others my way. Oss.
Hey there – you should add the information to my “Pimp your blog” post here:
http://juliajohansen.wordpress.com/2011/01/18/tell-about-your-bjj-blog/
I think white belts should just worry about getting better and amassing as much mat time as possible. That way, they wouldn’t have to worry about giving advice to people based on their ‘expertise’, cornering upper belts and the host of other things you mentioned. Really annoying.
Awesome post btw
It’s true, but I started my blog as a white belt – and it helped me focus more on BJJ as well. It helped me process my thoughts. I did give some advice, but hopefully not weird advice!
I think white belts should worry about not being “that guy.” Whenever you go into a new environment, particularly one as physically competitive and potentially painful as BJJ, there are rules and structures designed to protect people from physical harm. People are kind of dumb, and there are ALWAYS subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) politics and dramatic situations at play in the gym. Every gym I’ve ever been to, anyway. Until you understand your classmates and their relationships to each other, and where you stand in relation to them, it’s best not to become what we like to refer to as a “wild belt,” spazzing out and trying to helicopter your way into a submission in every position. This generally just ticks people off and makes them bring the pain. If they can’t personally bring the pain, they’ll probably mention it to someone who can, usually that one quiet guy with a wrestling background that can and will grind your face into the mat, or the little technical (and deceptively strong) guy/girl that will demolish a wild belt’s ego in three minutes flat.
I’ve seen this happen approximately eight million times.
Hey there! Your blog is awesome. I love the voice your blog already has. Please please continue in this vein – it makes it so accessible!
I agree – when I visited new schools I really tried to keep my head tucked down and watch and observe. I was ultra cautious. I also think that what people don’t realize is that it’s very possible your instructor IS online, or has a friend who pokes around online and that can get back to them. It can make more drama for you in the long run.
Great post! I am a white belt in BJJ but a black belt in another art (Kajukenbo). I’ve learned from the other art that, as a white belt my job is to shut up, listen, and learn, probably for at _Least_ a year. There are a couple white belts who are officially on my ish list at this gym because they found out about the black belt and have apparently made it their mission in life to submit me for that reason alone. (It’s like me having a master’s degree in English and expecting me to kick ass in Math class.) No matter that they have about 80 lbs. and 20 years on me. No matter that their technique consists mainly of sitting on me and trying to crank my arm with brute strength alone. No matter that they haven’t a clue about “position before submission.” SO annoying. I can tell a blue/purple/brown belt from a white belt just from that alone. The upper belts definitely make every single sparring round super challenging, but they are not out to feed their own ego, or out “Beat” the white belts.
Haha awesome post. I love this, and you put it all in such an amusing way. I think it’s fine to get excited when you “tap out” instructors and more experienced people, but more like…omg I did the moves right, just like they told me! Clearly though, you should recognize that they LET you do it so that you could practice, instead of throwing moves to counter you right and left.
The part about pretentious language was particularly fun. I can’t stand people who talk like that in any field or practice.
Hope you’re feeling okay and that things are improving!
Great post! Thanks.
Nice post. In an effort to avoid being negative and saying a bunch of “don’t do these things”, here are some simple things I try to do:
Be positive. Be eager to learn. Be generous with your partners. Be humble. These are pretty self explanatory.
Be responsible for your own training. What I mean is, as a white belt just starting out, you will literally not be able to help getting better. Just by laying on the mat and being submitted, you’re learning something. But there quickly comes a time when you have to take control of your own learning. It’s your coach’s job to show you good technique. It’s your job to apply it and incorporate it into your game.
And finally, be consistent. Without consistency, you won’t get better.
Just some thoughts off the top of my head. Great post. Very thought provoking!
I thought of a few routes to go, and my three choices were:
Positive (1. Post about your tournament victories), Negative (1. Don’t post that you tapped out your training partner), Sarcastic (How to be a douchey white belt 1. Post about tapping out your training partner).
I thought that the sarcasm route was funniest, and while I considered going positive, I thought that the negative was a bit more straightforward since it seems like these are things that often happen, so it’s not about getting them to DO something, it’s about getting them to NOT do something.
Also, these things you posted about aren’t necessarily connected with online behavior – some DEFINITELY are, but not all.
I also focused on posting etiquette rather than mention things like Submissions 101 and the like.
Fantastic post…I’ve been waiting for someone to bring this up
He he he – so where did you drop in from?
I actually find your old posts helpful. Even the complaining ones validate that problems do exist and are not the norm. Sometimes weirdness just “exists” at a gym and you weren’t expecting it, and want to see if it’s standard practice for club members to behave in such and such a way, or the human dynamics seem weird to you, and you want to see if other people have had the same issue and what they did about it. Or the idea that you could change gyms and find one that suits you better may even be novel to some people, who might assume that the teaching is the same from place to place and if it doesn’t work out one place that therefore it won’t work out anywhere. I was looking for a way to lock up my triangles better, because I am having the same problem, and found an old thread of yours (by searching on triangle problems) on the jiu jitsu forum, where you were saying you couldn’t do it and someone suggested to you to “abandon triangles”. Did you end up learning how to do them well enough to satisfy yourself? Most people tell me that the basic techniques work for anyone if you do them right. I am wondering how you did end up solving that problem?
Thank you! I have tried to keep an overall positive vibe, but it’s true, there were some times I complained. Like about the meathead who tweaked my neck because he didn’t want to roll with me differently because I was a “girl.” >_<
I didn't abandon triangles altogether. Actually, i found an incredibly helpful brown belt in Tacoma Washington at T-Town MMA who has a body built almost exactly like mine – short and strong legs, and when I said I couldn't lock up a triangle ,he said "I know exactly what you mean" and he showed me this technique for slowly crawling it together. I'm crazy bad at explaining it, but I wonder if he wouldn't make a youtube video about it if he were asked nicely
The "one size fits all" in BJJ is a myth, in my opinion. Telling me to push my shoulder against my partner's neck while I grab his knee is great unless my partner is nearly a foot taller than me and I literally can't reach that far. It really is "one size fits most" I think.
It is weird sometimes to figure out the social stuff, ex. “Is it normal for someone to resent a girl tapping him (if you happen to get lucky – say, someone weaker and smaller and less or same experience, and if it’s even ok to tap him in the first place) and get an ego about it and seem to give you a hard time”, for example. “Should I demonstrate some disapproval over casual joking about homosexuality or just zip my lip about things like that”. etc. I don’t think this kind of thing is drama. It’s just wondering how to behave, comparing social notes, and it’s not always covered in the “rules” type posts that people write. In some senses, a club is a microsocial environment, with (as you have mentioned) hidden rules and even its own social “flavor”.
It totally depends. In some regards I’m a little glad I can’t understand all my partners – because it saves exactly that type of issue. When I was a white belt I likely would have sucked it all up and kept my mouth shut. Now, if I joined a new club and people kept joking about homosexuality I would probably say something, even just a “I’d like you to stop making comments like that around me. They make me feel uncomfortable.” Because regardless of what the social dynamic WAS before you walked in, by the virtue of you joining, you WILL change it.
More examples of things that differ from club to club. What you call your instructor. Some want to be called Sensei, some don’t want to be called that and may even become offended. There may be some other title Professor or Coach or just his or her first name. The politics of training at other clubs or dropping in once in awhile, if they are nearby and not part of a tour. How higher belts vs lower belts are addressed or treated. The extent of socialization outside the club between people (have seen that on forums), whether they carpool or not. The farting rule someone mentioned was hilarious. The differences in hygiene levels. Gender balances and how they affect the club vibe.
Yeah – thankfully my gym is part of a larger network that has a more liberal point of view about visiting other clubs. You should add some of these comments to the various articles themselves – some people still subscribe to them and it definitely helps add to the conversation.
What belt are you and how long have you been training now?
As a white belt blogger, I appreciate this. I am clearly no bjj expert, and my blog at first was to keep me honest, keep me going to jiu jitsu. It also gave me moral support to continue. I agree with you Jiu-Jiu, it’s about relating a personal experience. We are all experts on our own personal experience.