Continuing in my series about why I am grateful to have Jiu Jitsu in my life. If you haven’t read it, you may be interested in reading Part 1: Losing Myself. Again, I’d also love to hear your stories, or feel free to link to them.
Reason Number Two: Community
And yes, I am specifically talking about the BJJ community, but even more so the BJJ blogging community. And even more so the BJJ women’s blogging community. We’re a tiny community inside a tiny community inside a tiny community. Kind of like a matryoshka of awesomeness.
It’s so easy to feel alone when you’re the only woman at your school doing BJJ. Or when you’re only one of two. Or when you rarely see women doing BJJ in your community. I still remember when I started BJJ I went through and read all the women’s blogs I could find and I found it so refreshing when they would admit the emotions they were feeling. I’ve had the same reaction when I posted my emotions here on the blog.
When I started, I was a big gal. Most of the guys at my gym weight – maybe 160. I was 205 and short. And not athletic. I looked at everyone and knew I couldn’t do any of this stuff. I couldn’t shrimp, I couldn’t run, I could barely keep up. When the instructor would show us a move I felt SO STUPID. Nothing he showed made sense to me. It was like a Russian major in a German class. Or a flute player trying to play a tuba. I felt dumb. Specifically I felt body dumb. It was really hard that I also didn’t know Korean AND I didn’t know jiu jitsu language. So I felt like a dumb, fat girl.
But I kept coming back. Eventually I felt not so dumb. Eventually I lost size. But I kept going. And the thing that made me feel so amazing was connecting with people online. You guys are a fantastic community. In fact, what inspired this was my page view going from about 100 per day to 466 because of our very own abrandao! 
He posted about my blog on an online health magazine in an article called “5 Tips to get out of inertia” well, that’s what google translate told me. [I don't know if it's correct, but if you're visiting from Brazil, Olá da Coréia!] In it he suggested making a blog. Here’s what he wrote about mine:
One of the blogs that I read more, oddly enough, is an American, chubby and very friendly, white belt in jiu-jitsu. It’s amazing how she can always show me a new way of seeing something I’ve been doing for much longer than her. People have different perceptions about it, share it magnifies the whole world.”
Sincerely – getting to read the various perceptions about BJJ – getting to feel that other people are feeling the same thing I do – getting the accountability from others – getting different opinions about the same thing – that’s what helped me through this.
And finally, the chance to meet real people. I’ve made some great friends in the past year. Some of these have transitioned off the blogosphere. I’ve had wonderful online chats with Georgette, I got to meet Caleb from TheFightWorksPodcast, when I went on my BJJ vacation, I had a chance to meet several of the folks from Jiu Jitsu Forums, and in January I get the opportunity to make one more in real life BJJ female friend.
From January 22-28 I will be going on a vacation to meet a BJJ blogger. To where? Let me drop some hints.
Can't get where I'm going?
Wait - you STILL can't get where I'm going?
Get it - cupcake, armbar...
That’s right – I’M GOING TO MALAYSIA TO VISIT CUPCAKEARMBAR!!!!! [psst if you want to use the pic it's okay - I photochopped it myself] It started out as a back and forth on her blog – she mentioned going to the Thailand Open and I said I should meet her there – then I got it in my head to look up prices for tickets to Malaysia and sure enough – she was excited and the price was right – $300 round trip. The next day the prices went up to $586. I’ll be there over Chinese new year, staying with a local Chinese resident, feasting. She’s a BJJ blue belt as well – and I’m SO EXCITED to meet her.
So that is reason #2 of why I’m so grateful for Jiu Jitsu.
Which friends have you made through Jiu Jitsu? Have any of these transitioned off the mats/off the Interwebs into something even, gasp, non-Jiu Jitsu related?
Hey jiu, i expected this little grown would call your attention haha!
I’m always reading it here, sometimes i can’t comment cause i favorite it and read offline, so o forget to come back and comment. Just want you to know that you do a great job inspiring people. The biggest change in your “way of life” comes when we not just get inspired, but become inspiring.
These last two posts are amazing, it can show to every girl that kill laziness can be something good, and it’s not only about getting healthier, but getting a better life.
You rock girl.
Thank you! Hahaha – you know, I didn’t know until I read that article that your name was Alberto. I thought your name was abrandao. lol.
That really is such a wonderful compliment.
Awwww – you think I’m inspiring. That makes me feel warm and gooshy inside!
Now to think of a third reason
I met my girlfriend (our 11 year anniversary is in a couple of months) in a martial arts class before BJJ, and had a great social group through that martial art. I was chatting to an old friend who I also met through that class a couple of days ago: we’ve still kept in touch, despite the fact he has spent the last seven years teaching in Japan and now travelling all over the world.
Martial arts are great for that kind of community: like I think Jim said recently, putting your life quite literally in somebody else’s hands (naturally nobody would actually hold on to a choke that long, but it is within the realms of possibility) forms a special kind of bond.
It’s a bit different when ‘meeting’ people online, but there is still that shared experience that immediately creates ties. Blogging is often quite personal and revealing, which makes me think of something Seymour from Meerkatsu wrote after we first met and trained together, having by that point read each other’s blogs for quite some time:
“I’ve read so many of his posts that it’s like I’ve trained with him for years. “
It’s an interesting phenomenon. I felt much the same way, and I imagine I’d also feel that way if I rolled with any other of my favourite bloggers, like you, Georgette, Allie, Stephanie, Megan, Meg etc.
That’s so very cool! Hahahaha I totally missed that article!
Yeah – it’s really cool and weird when you meet people whose blogs you’ve been following. I think that’s why it’s best to meet positive people
I think the bloggers I want to meet most are Meg and Georgette. Meg most recently because I feel like she and I have gotten to know each other better on Fitocracy and I feel her pain about not being able to train well. Though she’s recently started training again so I’m seething with jealousy. Not really, but it’s fun to write the word “seething.”
Julia, I feel the same way! That we’ve gotten closer on Fitocracy and I would very much like to meet you too (and Georgette and not just because she appears to be an outrageously awesome cook!). Don’t worry, my ‘training’ is clumsy solo drills for less than 10 mins a week, though just escalated to a second set of drills this week and feel okay on the knee. Thanks for sharing another inspirational post with use, JiuJiu, your blog is so heartfelt! <3
Thank you!!! I so want to go to England. Man, I could meet at LEAST 4 BJJ bloggers!! Hmmm a future trip is in store. I’ve never been to England. And the cool thing – if I were able to stay at different bloggers’ homes it really cuts down the price of the trip. Transpo and lodging tend to be the most spendy. Yikes!
Appreciate the kind words!!!
Now to log some exercise!
Fitocracy rocks! I’ve gotten closer to you a bunch of other peeps over there (Meg included since we’re talking about her)
Agreed!
Speaking of — I need to log some activity!!!
Yes! Come to England! I can give you lots and lots of recommendations, in terms of where to go, what to do, places to train, etc.
On my blogger spreadsheet, I have 56 bloggers listed in the UK. Of course, a lot of those don’t update anymore.
In my Google Reader, the ones I still see popping up regularly are Meg, me, Seymour, Liam, Matt (though he understandably spends most of his time Scrambling now), Martin and Will. Carl Fisher has been updating more regularly these days too, though I don’t know if you’ve had any interaction with him. A lot of them also post on Fitocracy.
Meg, Seymour and Will are all around London. Me and Martin are both in the South West (I’m in Bristol, he’s nearby in Cheltenham), with Matt being a comparatively (certainly for an American, as you’re used to huge distances!) brief train ride away in Bournemouth. Liam and Carl would be more difficult, as they’re oop North (Manchester and Bolton respectively).
You’d be welcome to stay at mine, which handily is also right around the corner from Gracie Barra Bristol. ;D
Julia, it’s awesome having you as part of this community…
Awwww!!! You too!!! Yours and Val’s were the two blogs I looked to most when I first started doing BJJ.
Ola Señorita!!!!!
So this is the ‘surprise’ you’ve been talking about lol. I love the picture!!!!! It’s hilarious!!!!!! Great photoshopping skills hehehehhehe
Can’t wait till you come over here! January is going to come sooner than you think
Hell yeah!!! Let’s see – T-minus 56 days and counting!!!
OMG we seriously so need to set up some photoshoots ahead of time. SERIOUSLY! Omg I need to hit you up about this AMAZING idea I have for a fake BJJ commercial and then we should do it if you’re cool with it.
I’m up for anything just say the word~!!!! <3
“Kind of like a matryoshka of awesomeness.”
I love that line. Great post too, as a whole…I’m about 2 months into training now and everything you wrote strikes home. Feeling lost, body dumb, clumsy, moves not making sense…and then suddenly it comes together. It’s such a great feeling. Just today, in fact, I had one of my “OMG I’m kind of progressing!” moments where for the first time I got into some kind of flow while rolling. It was an amazing feeling and reading about what other girls have experienced has, as you said, been really inspiring too.
Hehehe I should photochop a picture for that. Hmmmm…what would be in a different matryoshka of awesomeness.
Yeah – it’s an exciting feeling when something FINALLY comes together for you. I loved rejoicing in the small moments – often they meant more than the BIG moments. The big moments (like getting a blue belt) was an accumulation of a bunch of small moments – it was rejoicing for climbing up the wall one more half inch instead of bemoaning how slow I was going or that I was in last place. Everything felt like a victory.
Even on those days when I feel like people look at me and think “How the hell did you get a blue belt” I think – “Dang – First day of BJJ me would be IN AWE of today me.”
OMG you should come to Manila, too! It’s so close! Cheap flights from KL to MNL (Air Asia, Cebu Pacific), or even from South Korea to here! SL is my friend, too, and it’s just great when you have a community of people with the same passion! Aside from doing BJJ here, you can also cuddle my PAWsome kitties
Yeah – it’s right around $500 for a ticket. It’d have to be later, but it’s a DEFINITE possibility!!!
*waves!* But yeah during the time Julia’s in Malaysia (I was considering going for the Jan 28/29 tournament) the tickets are so expensive cause of CNY!!!! Argh! Can u imagine it costs the same to fly from KL to Seoul during that time period!!!!!
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